C - Children's Lit

For a while I thought I wanted to be a Children’s Book writer. In my ignorance I thought “Wow! This will be easy!” I mean, who could blame me for thinking this? You see these books when you go to the bookstore. With their Huge Glossy Pictures and five words per page. Barely telling a story. Barely making sense. (Though one of the best books I ever found is called Tickle the Duck.  It’s Hysterical!  But I digress...)

Anyway...my epiphany! Well! I have two dogs! What a great concept! That’s never been done before! (Right.) I mean, yah, my dogs are a bit special...we won’t get into how right now...but just nod your head and agree. Ok. Special Dogs. Check. Unending Story Lines! Great! So I set to. Quickly finding inspiration with something that one of my dogs has issue with. Hiding his rawhide bones from crows. “Stubbs and the Three Crows”. Awesome. Commence writing!

Stubbs and Guster Not chasing Crows

Four single spaced pages later I wasn’t even at the climax of the plot yet, hadn’t even brought Guster (the other dog) into the scene yet.  Hadn't even described how the crows start to turn on each other, driving the Queen Crow...Well, anyway...

Yikes. But I thought...hmm...well...maybe it’s Exciting! So I brought it to my sister’s house and read it out loud to my 4 year old nephew. (Now! keep in mind there aren’t any huge glossy pictures...but I was painting pictures with my WORDS man!) Now normally, my nephew Loves having his Auntie Alicia read aloud to him...this time..about 3 paragraphs in, there was a very eloquent sigh and, “I’m BORED, Auntie Alicia!” And away he goes.  OH! The agony!  Quick! Where’s the wine! Sigh.

And in all honesty, he was right. It was boring. Really boring. I couldn’t even come up with an ending. So, I have far more respect for Children’s Book writers because they have to do in 13 words, what I do in 60,000. (or so...). Not an easy task. 

Of course. They also get actual FUZZY DUCKS in their books.  

I doubt I will have one in mine...